Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
