ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
