you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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