Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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