Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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