Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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