Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
