sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
