You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
