In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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