remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize