he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
