I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
