I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
