I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
