Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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