before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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