my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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