I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
