Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
