I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let's get the cat blown out
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
