This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
