just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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