I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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