The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
