apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
