great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
