me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The uberlube is also flammable
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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