Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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