Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
