a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I could make wine with my vomit
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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