Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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