I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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