Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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