So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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