She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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