I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
