It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
