"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
