Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
