Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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