things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
