watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
