Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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