I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
