I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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