Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
