after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
