id be glad to
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hippo gnu deer
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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