you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
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He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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