I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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