she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
