yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize